unconvenience:

Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u

when you see a lot of birds in the same spot

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  • Cop: Have you been drinking?
  • Me: I been drankin'
  • Cop: Surfbort
  • Me: Surfbort

dutchster:

when they say the name of the movie in the movie

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  • doctor: have you been experiencing any drastic weight loss or loss of appetite?
  • me: lol fuck i wish